Banana Peel, Meet Slippery Slope
Do-overs and second chances. New beginnings and a fresh start. Here we are. It’s that special time of the year when we sit down for a self-examination and reflect on our experiences from the previous year. When we swing open our closet doors and rather than shoulder-shove everything back in and save the mess for Spring cleaning, this is when we customarily remove those things that we no longer use or need and throw them away. It is also a time when we consider the general status of our relationships and decide whether or not that area of our lives could stand to be purged as well. As we recognize that some relationships, like sour milk, had expired and started to smell long ago, but during those hectic days throughout the year that are often consumed with unforeseen fire drills, we never seem to have gotten around to extinguishing them. Oh, yes. As the clock strikes midnight on December 31st and slams the book on the previous year, we applaud and cheer as a new book opens. We become emboldened by the idea of re-writing our stories as we prepare ourselves for the next task of resolving to forge a new path in the new year. We create ironclad resolutions that we – fingers crossed – won’t retreat from when challenges arise and distract us from our new dreams and goals. This is usually the first, of many, mistakes and missteps that we make literally right out of the gate.
However, we know that the truth is not often found in the grand aspirations that are written on a napkin at 12:01 am on January 1st. Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we know that absent an actual plan, our resolutions most often become nothing more than a dubious and self-imposed charade. Ambitious goals that are easily abandoned when the fruits of our labor yield anything and everything except the fruit and lack the instant success and gratification that we need in order to make our efforts worthwhile. And yet, when whittled down we can see that like most things, our high hopes and goals, lofty or otherwise, are no different than anything else. When we do not see the results that we had expected in very short order, we quickly throw in the towel not because we didn’t start with good intentions, rather we quit because of a general lack of commitment. Over time and once the excitement of momentum fades, inevitably we lose our appetite to sever the longstanding and well-established relationship that we have with our comfort zone.
Now. All of that is probably true when you are coming off of an uneventful year with your version of normalcy still somewhat intact. But we are not talking about coming off of a normal, uneventful year, are we? We are talking about the year 2020, the year that put us all through the same test allowing no one permission to sit and watch from the sidelines. We all experienced a consequential year filled with uncertainty. The health of ourselves and our loved ones along with financial and political instability were among the overarching concerns for many and still are today. And then, as if 2020 wasn’t more than enough on its own, 2021, wasting no time and without hesitation, came in like a gangbuster with its fists flying clearly looking to continue the devastating work of its predecessor. It is as though at some pivotal point unbeknownst to the rest of us, the annual playbook changed hands while we were all busy writing out our optimistic resolutions on the napkin. But it does beg the question that is not easily answered or even understood for that matter, and that is how much responsibility are we willing to accept for the challenges that we face in any given year regardless of extenuating circumstances? We are reminded of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “A productive and happy life is not something you find; it is something you make.” If that’s true, then it is curious how those carefully crafted New Year’s resolutions, that were allegedly created under the guise of perceived happiness, can be so easily abandoned. When we look around until our eyes land on someone or something to blame as we quickly detach ourselves from the resolutions that, if we are being honest, we weren’t really very attached to in the first place and quickly warm up to the idea of finding a new dream that maybe doesn’t require so much work. And over time, ambivalence and a lack of disciplined commitment become the equivalent of stepping on a banana peel at the top of a slippery slope. As we begin a precarious downward spiral putting further distance and empty space between us and our dreams. It doesn’t happen overnight, but over time and with each new year disappointment compounds and struggles to keep pace with those resolutions that were never really meant to be fulfilled.
Dr. King is quoted as having said, “There is no deficit in human resources; the deficit is in human will.” And that is an undeniable fact. ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ is not just something fun to say for the purpose of feigned motivation. It’s true and aborted New Year’s resolutions make that case plausible every year. So then why do we do it? If it is an annual exercise that is really viewed as being possibly more unpredictable than playing the Lottery, why bother with it at all? Save the napkin and a tree. Because the truth is when there is no will or motivation attached to attaining a dream or goal, then there is no way forward. And when we refuse to hold ourselves accountable, the gravitational pull towards the bottom of the slope increases exponentially. Because a general lack of accountability is the unspoken weakness that plagues so many of us, during our southern trek down the slippery slope we become proficient at grabbing and collecting excuses along our way. Until we finally come to a crashing and abrupt halt at the bottom and look up towards the top of the slope now forced to make a decision. Begin the decidedly challenging and unpredictable climb back up and try again, or give up and find a new dream?
Dr. King said, “If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.” So then that’s it. Maybe we create our own obstacles when we jump into unknown situations with both feet without first affirming that our fall will, at a minimum, be cushioned. We are told at a young age to dream big and reach for the stars, however, it can also be true at the same time that some of us find greater achievements and success in those smaller, more thoughtfully planned ambitions. And sans a plan, when we make it up as we go along with our fingers crossed just hoping for the best, we are quickly, and sometimes harshly, plunged back into reality. A reality where we will pick up the remaining pieces and lick our self-inflicted wounds as we seek to retreat from the lack of accomplishment and overwhelming sense of disappointment. It is easy to estrange ourselves from those annual resolutions, because the truth is, they are neither ironclad nor foolproof. And all of that is based on the assumption that your dream is important enough for you to keep trying.
What would Dr. King say today about the overall current state of our union? As we celebrate and remember him each year on his birthday, social media explodes with his most famous and memorable quotes as we endeavor to illustrate, using his words, our alignment and allegiance to him and his dream. Maybe he would say, “I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream.” And yet even with that optimism, it is still difficult to imagine that he would not be enormously disappointed. What would he say if he were alive today and forced to bear witness to the unrelenting chaos and violence that fully flies in the face of his dream? The chaos that only evidences that we have collectively regressed rather than having made the significant forward progress that one would have logically expected by this time. The difference between us and Dr. King is he actually had a real dream, a wish, a resolution that he continuously pursued because he unapologetically believed it, and therefore, he lived it. And having truly meant it, he devoted every day to his dream that likely wasn’t scribbled hurriedly on a napkin on the first day of the new year only to later be thrown away. Can everyone stake that claim? It is easy to see that most people today either hyperbolize rather than saying what they actually mean or they say exactly what they mean and must endure the fallout. And the truth is when New Year’s resolutions or dreams and wishes are created at any time throughout the year, when your heart isn’t in it and you don’t actually believe in it enough yourself, they become nothing more than form over substance, an exercise in futility.
We know that history is made every day and, like it or not, it is not always up for interpretation. We can go back centuries and see that divisions within society are not new, meaning its current members are not exactly pioneers. Many of the conflicts that have erupted in recent years and days have already been contested, however, anyone can see that they continue to remain unresolved. It is, and has always been, the difference in opinions and beliefs that simmer until they reach the surface and predictably boil over. As deeply-rooted anger is invoked and emboldened, thereby giving it permission to slowly emerge from the shadows and into the light. The internet and its companion perpetrator of untruths, social media, actively circulate and promulgate misinformation consequentially triggering the anger and resistance that has materialized into the violence that we see today. Reliant on ignorance, gullibility and effectively those who are otherwise uninformed for the sole purpose of cultivating mass rebellion and mayhem. Yet, that is a truth that camouflages something else that is far from anonymous, and that is fear.
Dr. King said, “We can master fear through one of the supreme virtues known to man: courage. Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear.” Although that may very well be true, we did not witness courage storming the Capitol building on January 6th of this new year. What we all saw in real time was a scab being ripped off revealing an old wound that had never fully healed. And as the wound was reopened and fresh blood began to seep from every corner wreaking havoc and destruction, what was exposed and on full display was fear that came out of hiding with an entourage. An entourage that was armed with everything except the truth. Dr. King’s dream was certainly not realized on this day or the days that preceded it. His words, along with his dream, were a roadmap towards peace and positive change, but when they are distributed in mass once a year on his birthday for the purpose of fictitious solidarity, they become nothing more than another broken resolution. Because it is the fear of change that is the driving force behind chaos with or without political motivations. Dr. King said, “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.” Of course, but however true that is, change comes at a cost and sometimes with unimaginable contingencies.
What is a resolution anyway and why do we only talk about it at the beginning of a new year? A resolution is really nothing more than a promise that we make to ourselves that either is or isn’t steeped in self-determination. A promise that we make and usually later break because, even if we start with the best intentions, we have conditioned ourselves to quit long before we attain any real satisfaction. The high expectations that are attached to our dreams and resolutions demand honest reasoning and a willingness to break away from familiar habits and our comfort zone. As we rationalize that which is otherwise irrational for the purpose of loosely raising and lowering expectations while simultaneously tinkering with truth. Dr. King said, “One day we will learn that the heart can never be totally right when the head is totally wrong.” And that theory continues to be tested even with New Year’s resolutions. It is common knowledge that most possess a very low threshold for discomfort, deeming change to be a repellent that should be avoided. As we place armor around our hearts mostly disallowing its involvement thereby relying exclusively on our heads to ultimately make the big decisions on our behalf.
In the end, we know that with or without resolutions, the Earth will continue to reliably spin on its axis gifting us with a new year. And even amidst the noise and flurry of excitement that this annual ritual brings, the universe, for its part, remains invariably still and unchanged. Whether we write our annual resolutions on a napkin that we choose to half-heartedly pursue or quietly cross our fingers and just hope for the best, we can either fearfully condemn ourselves to remain in our comfort zone or, against all odds, we can resolve to find the courage to begin the perilous climb back up the slope and try again.
DISCLAIMER: All quotes were found on brainyquotes.com and keepinspiring.me and are understood to be actual true statements referenced for the sole purpose of illustrating a point. Quotes have been bolded and italicized to appropriately provide a delineation from the author’s personal perspective.bu